This looks like an Onion headline, but it's not:

Buddhist Monks Fall for Beer Girls

These however ARE some of the latest Onion headlines:

Jacques Derrida "dies"

Kerry: Stem-Cell Research May Hold Cure To Ailing Campaign

Or this one from the Lark:

Ushers with stun guns stir controversy -- MONTGOMERY — Ron Henning recalls the day he first "put a man down" in the center aisle just before the pastor gave the altar call. "I thought he was reaching for a weapon in his pocket," Henning says. He rushed over, zapped the man with a church-issued stun gun and sent him to the floor for seven minutes, throwing the service into tumult. It turned out the man was heading to the altar to give his heart to Christ, but couldn't wait for the pastor to finish the altar call. The church apologized and paid the man $500, but he has not returned.