Devilishly funny list of contemporary carols by John Derbyshire.

A crime! Call out Scotland Yard! One of the Queen's corgis was mauled by Princess Anne's bull terriers and had to be put down. As a corgi owner and afficionado of long standing, I urge a public investigation.

Christmas CDs were donated to a Scottish hospital to raise the spirits of patients. But they were not distributed because they might offend non-Christians. No joke.

A very merry Christmas to you all.