Funny thing, but just the other day some nut by the name of "Bill Moyers" (imagine Homer Simpson air quotes there, please) wrote a column in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune. Believe it or not, this "Bill Moyers" was talking about at least three of us here at Dr. Curmudgeon & Co.

Wuh? No, no, not directly. But he was attacking--bravely attacking!--right wing Protestant Fundamentalist Nutjobs. And given that his net is very, very big, at least three of us fit into it. The Doc himself, as is well-known, falls into the category of right wing Roman Catholic Traditionalist Nutjobs. He has to put up with Garry Wills. That's enough work of anyone, OK? So leave him out of this.

Anyway, this "Bill Moyers" claims to be quite the expert on right wing Protestant Fundamentalist Nutjobs, because he was apparently a Baptist preacher for six months before he became, in turns, a PR Hack, Presidential Attack Dog, Acolyte Journalist, Seeker of Bliss, and...when the hell did this happen...Courageous Repository of Solomonic Wisdom for our Age.

Well, he's certainly four of those things.

Anyway, he starts out this way:

One of the biggest changes in politics in my lifetime is that the delusional is no longer marginal. It has come in from the fringe, to sit in the seat of power in the Oval Office and in Congress. For the first time in our history, ideology and theology hold a monopoly of power in Washington.

Well, sure. Glad to know you're not going to sugar coat it there, "Bill". Thanks for setting things up to allow for a reasonable, balanced, Solomonic exchange of opinions. No one out here but us Delusionals.

Frankly, the Ombudsman does not have time to Fisk all of this. The Ombudsman, he is the man of much business, as our dear friend the super fantastic Manolo would say. There are other things of greater concern to the Ombudsman, like the heat of his coffee, the state of the weather, or the strange thing on the sole of his Allan Edmonds cap-toe loafer, than the "musings" of the "Bill Moyers".

So it's a good thing that James Lileks is out there! Strangely enough, he too receives a salary from the Star-Tribune. [Ed.-- Perhaps they've forgotten about him?] But on his own blog, James has this (among many other things) to say:


"Sunday was the day when Americans were watching the Iraqi election, of course. What do you think the Strib’s editorial page had for this weighty day? Well, a lengthy editorial on Ethanol, for those who rise Sunday morn with a healthy appetite for flapjacks, sausages, orange juice and 2000 words on corn subsidies. ('Bold gesture, missed options.' Was ever a more perfect headline for an editorial ever printed?) But the main page had this at the top:

'For the first time in our history, ideology and theology hold a monopoly of power. What that means for the environment is frightening.'

Well, it depends on your perspective. We all remember how 270,000 people were killed in a day when the environment demonstrated that it had a monopoly of power over plate tectonics.

Below the words, a picture of cracked parched earth, which had once no doubt been green & verdant farmland before the Right Rev. Bush got out his joystick and sent his 900 foot tall Jesus robot to blast the crops with his death-beam laser eyes.

Did I mention that the shadow of a cross falls across the parched land?

You look down the page to see what this might be titled – Meek gesture, seized options? Bold & spicy options, savory gestures? Get this:

THERE IS NO TOMORROW.

We’re on a roll! Ecological catastrophe brought on by 'ideology and theology,' with another dull DONG of the catastrophe bell that’s been tolling ever since the Indian cried a famous lone tear over phosphates in the laundry soap. Then comes the cherry on the sundae:

'By Bill Moyers.'

All rise..."


It continues from there. Read, as they like to say in the blogosphere, the whole thing.

That 900 foot Jesus robot sounds cool. Maybe Dr. Potomac could get us one. Can we use it to scare Teddy Kennedy sober?

No, probably need the Second Coming for that job.