Royal Mail Contest: Write like an illiterate and win a prize

In an attempt to drum up business, the British Royal Mail is sponsoring a letter-writing competition for school kids. Sound innocent enough? Well, the catch is that children can use (and are, in fact, encouraged to use) modern slang in their compositions, and the winner will be chosen by a thus far unnamed "urban music star." Sayeth the BBC:

The contest, for five to 11 year olds, is designed to "bring letter writing in line with the communication trends of children today".

The results should "express the sender's personality".

Oh yes, in Anglo-American society and culture today there is far too little self-expression -- we really need to liberate letter-writing from inhibition and spread the plague of expressing one's personality to yet more areas. Ugh.

Common turns of phrase like "chav", "as if", "minging" and the perennial "cool" might be expected to feature heavily.

The terms "innit", immortalised by spoof rapper Ali G, and "yeah but, no but", favoured by Vicky Pollard of BBC TV's Little Britain, are also among modern youth catchphrases.

However, even in the age of e-mails and text messages, certain competition rules apply.

Carrie Holder, Royal Mail's social policy manager, said: "If a child's hero is Eminem we would expect the language used to be very different to a formal letter to Tony Blair, for example."

"It is important that children recognise the value of letter writing, whether it's to inform, advise or respond effectively or to convey feelings and emotions."

Far be it from me to suggest the Royal Mail's "social policy manager" is dead wrong (and who even knew the RM had a "social policy manager?" Does the RM have a social policy?) but shouldn't they be exercising a modicum of leadership and suggest that school children not talk and write like Eminem and more like Tony Blair? Certainly if literacy is a social good (and I would think the RM "social policy manager" would know this), why encourage the young to write like ill-mannered, uncultured, illiterate boobs?

British businesses have warned that they are uninterested in employing those with limited vocabularies. Schools are trying to correct it a bit, albeit not with enough conviction and verve. British kids cannot spell very well, and (big surprise here) neither can prospective teachers.

But in the search for more mail revenue (which seems to be behind this), the RM seems more interested in dumbing Brits down. Who cares what they say, as long as they pay for the stamps. Good social policy there.