Welcome to Parliament, dude

Apparently, the British Parliament doesn't like you, but is trying to shape up. A new committee has recommended that, in the wake of the infamous purple powder attack on PM Tony Blair, MPs should strive to make the old place a whole lot friendlier. No longer will visitors to the Commons Chamber be called "strangers" (this is decidedly unfriendly and alientating, don't you know) and guides will be posted around the building, smiling, and saying things like "How can I help? Where do you want to go?" You know, like Walmart.

Says MP Peter Hain: Parliament shouldn't be a private club where members of the public are treated only on sufferance ... They should be welcomed in - it's their democracy after all. It's not MPs' democracy or House officers' democracy - it's the citizens' democracy ... I think we can make Parliament a much more voter friendly place and a much more modern institution that young people identify with.

First, it is essentially a private club, but much stricter than the Elks Lodge, with a long history, traditions, rules, and etiquette. To attend and view Parliament is a privilege. Not everyone can or should be there. Lighten up the image, take away its gravitas, and people will take it lightly.

Second, "it's the citizens' democracy" seems a bit pandering, stating a rather obvious fact that people back in the district vote for their MPs -- so what? Does that give voters the right to do anything they want in the building? Reminds me of the drunks at baseball games who say, "Hey, I bought a ticket, I can do anything I want, like scream obscenities at the players." No. You are here as a courtesy. Don't push it.

Third, there is nothing that makes my shoulders dip more than saying national institutions need to be made more youth-friendly and "modern." Pray tell, how this will happen? Flashing lights that blink "Par-lia-ment...Parliament!" Perhaps constant thumping background music, so that visiting Parliament is roughly similar to visiting the mall? Celebrity promotional visits to the Commons and Lords, maybe Britney Spears in a wig ("I'd just like to tell all the kids out there that the Lords rock.")? Maybe a whole new building, since the current one is so fuddy-duddy and yesterday (one Liberal Democrat called the Parliament building a "mock medieval, neo-Gothic palace")?

Like, dude, Parliament and, like this voting thing, is phat.