An informant on the Hill tells me that their office has just started to field Jack Abramoff-Malaysia-Ports calls. First call, handled by a young woman, was as follows:

He also told her she'd be a fifth class citizen if we turned over the ports and all he’d see of here was her lovely eyes, because the Taliban would make her cover up everything else. Among other things.

Not that, you know, anyone's going to get hysterical or anything.